We have all heard the saying “they got in with a bad crowd” haven’t we? Some understand the deeper meaning of this and some believe it is simply an excuse for bad behaviour. Well, it’s really both! The importance of a good social circle is vital for our individuality.
So what is a social circle?! It’s a friend or group of friends that we choose to invest our time into being around. Our family is a social circle, our friends at school or college is a social circle, a group of friends at a community centre is a social circle and even our workplace.
This being said, it can also be argued that people spend different times with different people and this is true, the social levels you hang out at are vital to you too. For instance, you may spend more time with friends from school than you do with friends from a community centre. The amount of time you spend with these groups have a massive impact on your personal psychological health.
Let’s talk about health...
So as discussed above, time spent with our social groups are paramount to our health. Therefore, we need to decide what is good for our psychological health.
This is a big responsibility to have and we often get this wrong, but it is down to us to then learn from this and make better decisions for our future and decide who is going to be good in order for you to achieve your future goals.
Different social groups are also good for our health. Spending life with your family and nobody else will not help you grow as an individual. Having numerous social circles helps you understand and learn more, you learn about different cultures, how other people think, you learn about beliefs, you learn about morals, you learn from others. Staying home with family may feel fantastic but when you spend all day, each day with the same people, it is not good for your psychological health.
So if were choosing our social circles to suit where we are at in our life at a given time then our social circles will constantly change because our lives and choices are constantly changing right..? Right! Our social circles may be good for our lives at one point, but not in another. For example, we may have a childhood best friend that at the time we thought would be our best friend until we are in our rocking chairs but truth be told, our friendships are like relationships. We have ex partners for the same reasons we have ex friends, we outgrew them! Their morals changed from ours, their likes changed from ours, and that’s fine, there is absolutely nothing wrong with change in order to better your own life! That is not selfish, it is not nasty, it is healthy, responsible and sensible!
So we’ve established that social circles are important in terms of growth and health but how do we know if were surrounded by the right people.
When you know, you know
Try writing down your social circles and make note of how much time you spend with each. Where are you in your life right now? Are you going in the right direction?
If you have close friends, confide in them. Tell them your dreams, ask them what they think, and discuss how you can achieve them. Now observe how they react! If your friends respect what you want and they motivate you to go for it. If they want to help and they’re happy for your success, then congratulations, they’re your people! You have a good social circle!”
However, if they make you feel silly, they laugh at your dreams or make you doubt your ability in yourself to achieve them, then I’m sorry to say this but those are not your people. But the fact that you have now identified this has enabled you to open that door to find a social circle that’s good for you! Base it on your dreams, find people interested in the same things, and talk to them. Go to workshops, make friends and spend time with them. If you can do this, you will find your social circle!
Social media can be a good platform for this because as much as caution is needed when developing online friendships, platforms such as Facebook share events and use groups for people to relate with each other on things they share similar interest in. But please remember to take relevant cautions if you ever think about meeting anyone from online, take someone you trust always!
In the end, our friends shape and build who we are as people. Therefore the people we spend our time with are essential to our wellbeing and successes. We can all have many social groups, such as family, friends in education, childhood friends, work colleagues, and online friends.
During the course of your life, you may want to let friends and relationships go because you’ve realised where you wanted to be and the people around you don’t believe in you, they don’t motivate you, instead you find that they actually made you feel stupid, incapable and unimportant. When you discover how to achieve your dreams, this may be how you can find your kind of people! Do not spend your whole life trying to fit in with others, you will run into trouble, you may even find yourself doing things that really aren’t you. You could agree with things you never really agree to and if your ever really in trouble, none of these people have your back.
You see, friends don’t let you do stupid things, they tell you you’re wrong because they love you and they don’t want any misfortune for you. People who don’t care about you will sit back, let you make a fool of yourself and tell you you’re great. A true friend will drag you away from this situation and tell you you’re being an idiot. The key is, the amount of time you spend with people. You don’t have to cut off everybody who ever wronged you, just spend less time with them and more time with the ones that raise your spirits.
There is a movie that reflects what I’m talking about in this article and it’s called “13 going on 30”, if you haven’t already, watch it!
Decide who your people are today, your success and happiness depend on it.